Women and money.  There are approximately one million discussions to be had on the subject of women and money.  In my own experiences, I have come to realize I need money to feel safe. So I wonder do all women crave financial security?  Or am I alone in this?

Money is the avenue by which we live, support our families, achieve security for retirement.  It is also the reason we get up every day and go to work, how we buy food for our families and provide shelter and clothing.

In very basic concepts, money can buy safety.  It creates a sense of security, safety, and comfort.  A woman can rest in the peacefulness of knowing her home and life are financially secure.  These foundational needs are stable. Can bad things happen in life? Absolutely, but having food, clothing, shelter, and coverage for emergencies can make everything else in life much more bearable.

Money is extremely important to our everyday existence.  I know my own reasons for craving financial stability, but in my research for a scientific reason as to why women need stable finances, I came across 4 reasons that make sense with this idea.

 

1.  Women have more anxiety when it comes to spending money.

According to a Debt.com article, women have anxiety about spending money because there is the underlying fear they won’t be able to earn back what they have spent.  This means women fear not making enough money so they are scared to spend money.

I know lots of women and I have yet to meet one who seems afraid to spend money.  So, this may be true, but I can’t say I have ever feared to spend money because of an earning problem.  I have anxiety associated with money when there isn’t enough to provide me with a sense of security.  I do not have a problem spending the money I have.

 

2.  Women have a fear of debt because they earn less over their lifetime.

Women tend to be the ones to stop work to raise children and retire early to take care of their parents.  Both of these things will limit the income potential over their lifespan. This can make debt seem scary because there may not be enough income to climb out of that hole.

I have never personally felt like my fear of debt has come from knowing I may not make as much over my lifetime if I choose to stay home with my children or take care of my parents.  The fear of debt comes from the feeling of being choked and suffocated by something I struggle to break free from.

Most of us don’t have a fear of debt until we have gone so far in we realize the situation that has become our reality.  The fear of debt comes as an afterthought when we are dealing with the consequences. We have limited our futures by our impulse decisions of the past.

 

3.  Women inherently look for men that have qualities pointing toward financial stability.

They say this one goes back to the original times when a woman needed to look for a man who was resourceful and men looked for women who could procreate.  In modern-day dating, women still look for someone who shows good survival skills and has the ability to produce and provide for children.

Some women may be offended by this thought of looking for a man who will likely achieve a financially stable life, but I was definitely one of those women.  I looked for a man who was strong, intelligent, respectful, encouraging, a hard worker and loving. These qualities will provide me with financial stability because he is hardworking and intelligent.  There was not a doubt in my mind that I would be provided for.

Did I actually realize these were some of the criteria when I was selecting my husband?  Not at all!  But now, looking back, I have no doubts these are things that were considered in the depths of my being while we were dating.  Was he going to be able to take care of me?  That was important.

 

4.  Women tend to live longer than men and will need more money.

This need for financial stability holds especially true as women tend to outlive men.  Having a significant nest egg built up is important if you are left alone later in life.  The last thing you want to deal with is making ends meet when you are 70+ years old.

Knowing you will likely outlive your partner, ensuring your finances are in order and having a beefed up retirement is going to be very important.  This is insurance you will be taken care of as you age. Women definitely crave this and worry about it.

 

After all of my research, I didn’t find anything really groundbreaking or insightful beyond the facts of women live longer, may quit working earlier and need to feel taken care of.  So here is what I know.

I am a woman and,

• I NEED to know I have enough money to survive.  
• I NEED to have an emergency fund in place to sleep peacefully at night.  
• I NEED to know my husband will do whatever it takes to make certain his family is provided for.  
• I NEED to know my children will be provided for.

 

If there is a question of if we can afford groceries for the month, if we can afford to take our child to the ER with our crappy insurance or if we can afford childcare for them I feel very insecure.

I lived through a lot of changes in the past months with my husband taking a huge demotion, a significant pay cut, loss of insurance and more medical bills than you can imagine.  The only way I could think to accurately describe what we were going through was I felt like I was living through an earthquake.

I felt I was standing on the unsteady ground and I couldn’t trust we were going to financially be okay.  I felt we had no safety net, we were living week to week with no back-up and could drown at any moment.

This, in turn, made me resent my husband, I became stressed and anxious, I had a hard time being patient with my children and my marriage suffered.  All of this because of a loss of financial security. My world was shaken when I wasn’t sure if we could keep our home, keep food on the table, pay medical bills or have emergency savings.

So, can money buy you happiness?  No, and I believe we should choose to be joyful in all circumstances.  BUT, can money buy you stability in your basic needs categories in life (food, clothing, shelter, transportation)?  Most definitely!! And as a woman, I need that.

 

Where do you stand?  Does lack of money stress you out?

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